COMMEDIA!
"The Comedy of Love and War"
by Richard Nathan
This play takes place sometime in the imaginary 18th Century, in the imaginary kingdoms of Commedia and Zanniland.
Act I
SCENE ONE:
Near a pig sty on Pantalone's estate. PANTALONE enters and looks offstage in disgust. Lying on the ground, relaxing, are his son LELIO and Lelio's servants ARLO (short for Arlecchino) and TRUFF (short for Truffaldino).
PANTALONE
Disgraceful! My son and his two servants
relaxing in the sun, while right over there,
my estate looks like a pig sty!
Pantalone points off-stage to the part of his estate that looks like a pig sty. Lelio looks in the direction where Pantalone is pointing.
LELIO
Dad, that is a pig sty.
PANTALONE
That's no reason for it to look like one. I'm forty,
but do I look forty?
TRUFF
(under his breath)
You're fifty and look sixty!
PANTALONE
What was that?
TRUFF
I said you're fit and look sexy!
PANTALONE
That's true. Now get that place cleaned up! We're
expecting company!
ARLO
In the pig sty?
PANTALONE
My old friend Captain Cocodrillo is coming to visit.
He's a very important man.
LELIO
So naturally he'll be concerned with the cleanliness
of our pig sty.
ARLO
I like our pig sty. It's brown. Brown's a good
color for a pig sty.
PANTALONE
The Captain will want to view the entire estate. No
detail is too small to escape
his attention. That's the
military mind for you! I remember when I was one of
his foot soldiers. Every morning he'd inspect
my feet.
He said I had the trimmest toenails in the regiment!
TRUFF
(under his breath)
I can't believe you won that war.
PANTALONE
What was that?
TRUFF
I said, I can't believe your feet weren't sore.
LELIO
Why is he coming here?
PANTALONE
He's leading our noble forces of Commedia against
the hordes of Zanniland. You might join him and
cover yourself in glory!
TRUFF
(under his breath)
Cover yourself in gore.
PANTALONE
What was that?
TRUFF
I said I love a good war.
PANTALONE
Good. Maybe my son will go and take you two
with him.
ARLO
I can't go to war! I have to clean the pig sty!
PANTALONE
Then get to it! What are you waiting for?
Lelio, Arlo and Truff stand.
ARLO
(under his breath)
Miserable goat. You're the meanest man! War
isn't fun, and you're creaky old fool.
PANTALONE
What was that?
ARLO
Nothing!
PANTALONE
I thought I heard you say I was a miserable goat.
Arlo has heard Truff get out of similar situations before. He looks to Truff for encouragement, and Truff nods his head at Arlo. Arlo gives it a try.
ARLO
I said I miss my coat.
PANTALONE
That I was the meanest man.
ARLO
It was green and tan.
PANTALONE
War isn't fun.
ARLO
It kept me warm, like the sun.
PANTALONE
I'm a creaky old fool!
ARLO
A creepy old mule!
Pantalone kicks Arlo in the pants.
PANTALONE
Arlecchino! Aren't you ashamed! I think
Truffaldino
here has had a bad influence on you, but you can be
better than that. I know in my heart you're loyal to me.
You understand the deference a servant owes his
master. If you look deep within
yourself, I know
you can be the kind, sensitive, obedient, devoted servant,
that I know in my heart you are.
ARLO
I know in my heart you're a louse.
Pantalone kicks Arlo again.
PANTALONE
Clean up that sty! And make sure you put all the
pig droppings where the Captain won't see them!
Pantalone exits.
TRUFF
Hey, boss, you're not going to go to the war,
are you?
LELIO
Why not? It couldn't be worse than cleaning up
pig droppings, could it?
TRUFF
Nobody ever died from pig droppings.
ARLO
My uncle did. He walked under a cliff, and
somebody dropped a pig on him. They said
it was a hamicidal maniac.
LELIO
I'll tell you what. If you boys will cart away the pig
droppings and hide them someplace the Captain
won't find them, I'll fix the fence, hoe the ground, and
put fresh feed and water in the troughs.
TRUFF
You got a deal! Come on, Arlo!
ARLO
After you, Truff.
Truff and Arlo exit toward the sty. As they leave, ISABELLA enters.
ISABELLA
Excuse me, sir, I fear I'm lost. Can you tell me
where I might find...
Lelio turns, and when their eyes meet, it is love at first sight.
LELIO
Above.
ISABELLA
I beg your pardon?
LELIO
I recognize an angel when I see
You shining bright enough to blind the sun.
No mortal woman's eyes could capture me
Within the magic web your eyes have spun.
And so I tell you heaven is above,
For heaven is the place where angels dwell.
And yet I lie, for I will swear by love
That heaven's in your eyes! A fool could tell!
ISABELLA
I think my eyes indeed know heaven's grace
When they behold yourself and look upon
Your handsome, fine and honest manly face.
I look, and know my heart's forever won.
LELIO
It's you I'll love past reason and past rhyme.
ISABELLA
And you I'll love until the end of time.
They kiss.
LELIO
What is your name, sweet angel?
ISABELLA
Isabella. And yours, dearest heart?
LELIO
Lelio.
They kiss again.
LELIO
When shall we marry?
ISABELLA
The instant my father says yes.
LELIO
He couldn't say no! It isn't possible!
ISABELLA
We've only just met, but I know we are fated
to wed.
LELIO
That's true beyond all doubt.
ISABELLA
Where do you live?
LELIO
In that house, on the hill.
ISABELLA
I must tell my father. We're staying at the inn. I
was headed there, but lost my way. No, my way
was lost until I found you; now all is found!
LELIO
The only inn I know of is straight down that road.
I'll take you there!
ISABELLA
No. It's best I see him first, to prepare him. I'll
bring him here to meet you.
LELIO
Are we to be parted already?
ISABELLA
Only for an hour, my love, my life, my soul!
LELIO
It will be a thousand lifetimes of torture until you return!
ISABELLA
My servant, Smeraldina, was following me, but she's
so slow, she fell behind. If you see her, will you
direct her to the inn?
LELIO
Of course, divine quintessence of love.
ISABELLA
My darling, I must go now, or I will never be able
to leave your side.
LELIO
Then stay, and never leave me.
ISABELLA
I must, but only for an hour! My heart will beat
only for you until I see you again.
LELIO
And mine will beat only for you for ever after.
They kiss, and as they gaze into each others' eyes, Isabella exits. Lelio stands looking after her. A moment later, Truff and Arlo enter.
TRUFF
Hey, boss, we hid the pig droppings where the Captain
will never find them, unless he looks in the tool shed.
LELIO
I've never been this happy! The world is a marvelous
place!
TRUFF
Yeah, it's always better when you hide the pig
droppings.
LELIO
Truff, Arlo, I'm in love! Everything is perfect!
ARLO
Does that mean you're not fixing the pig sty?
LELIO
It doesn't need fixing! That's the most beautiful pig
sty I've ever seen. I'm going up to the house to tell
my father the news!
ARLO
Tell him to stand back next time he opens the tool shed.
Lelio starts to leave, then comes back. He turns to Arlo and Truff.
LELIO
I need you to do something for me. Wait here until
a girl named Smeraldina comes up the road. When she
gets here, tell her how to get to the inn.
Lelio runs off.
TRUFF
Smeraldina! That must be the girl the boss is in love with.
ARLO
Must be. What do you think she's like?
TRUFF
If the boss lover her, she must be sweet, delicate, refined,
a real lady!
Enter SMERALDINA oozing with bawdy sex appear. This girl is triple-X rated.
SMERALDINA
Hi boys, my name is Smeraldina.
TRUFF
Or maybe not.
SMERALDINA
I've lost my way. Would one of you be sweet enough
to guide me to the inn?
Truff pulls Arlo aside.
TRUFF
This girl's not right for the boss. To protect him, I
think I better take her off his hands.
ARLO
You'd do that for him?
TRUFF
It won't be easy, but somebody's got to do it.
ARLO
I could do it.
TRUFF
You? She'd eat you alive!
ARLO
Maybe. But I'd do it for the boss.
TRUFF
No, I'll do it for the boss!
ARLO
I'll do it!
TRUFF
I saw her first!
Truff and Arlo start fighting. They end up with their hands around their necks, each trying to strangle the other.
SMERALDINA
You boys aren't fighting over me, are you?
She gently separates the two servants.
ARLO
No, we're fighting over who gets to help the boss.
SMERALDINA
Couldn't you help me find the inn?
TRUFF
Sure, we'll help you in just a minute.
ARLO
We just have one thing we have to finish first.
SMERALDINA
What's that?
Truff and Arlo resume trying to kill each other. Once again, Smeraldina gently parts them.
SMERALDINA
Stop it! Stop it! Wouldn't you rather be a lover than
a fighter?
TRUFF
Sure, just as soon as I kill him.
ARLO
You'll kill me over my dead body!!!
They resume fighting.
SMERALDINA
If that's the way you feel about it, I'll find the inn on
my own!
She storms off stage, but Truff and Arlo are too busy fighting to notice. After a moment, they notice she is gone and stop fighting.
TRUFF
Hey, where'd she go?
ARLO
She's gone! She didn't even say goodbye!
TRUFF
Isn't that just like a woman? You can't rely on them!
ARLO
I'm sorry we fought over her.
TRUFF
Me too. But we're friends, now, right?
ARLO
Friends forever!
They shake hands and pat each other on the back. Smeraldina re-enters.
SMERALDINA
I was just thinking....
Immediately, Truff and Arlo go back to trying to kill each other.
SMERALDINA
Never mind!
She exits again. Blackout.
SCENE TWO:
The parlor of Pantalone's house. Pantalone is lost in thought. Lelio enters.
LELIO
Father! I'm in love!
PANTALONE
Oh? Does she have a big dowry?
LELIO
I didn't ask.
PANTALONE
I've told you a thousand times, I won't let
you wed unless there's a big dowry.
You've never paid enough attention to finances!
LELIO
I don't need your permission to marry.
PANTALONE
But you need my money! Now sit down! I
want you to help me decide what to serve the
Captain for dinner!
Pantalone hands a quill and a piece of paper to Lelio and sits him down at a table.
LELIO
But I'm in love!
PANTALONE
Write this down: tender roast capons; green peas,
fine imported wine, and for desert, apple pie with
ice cream and pistachio
nuts.
LELIO
I met the most wonderful girl. Her name is Isabella.
PANTALONE
Read me back what I said.
LELIO
Roast capons, green peas, fine imported wine, and apple
pie with ice cream and pistachio nuts.
PANTALONE
Nothing is too good for my friend the Captain.
LELIO
Sounds expensive.
PANTALONE
Expensive?
LELIO
This will cost more than you usually spend on our food
for an entire month.
Pantalone looks over Lelio's shoulder at the list.
LELIO
Let me tell you about Isabella!
PANTALONE
On the other hand, I'm sure the Captain won't want pie
or ice cream. He needs to stay trim for the war!
LELIO
That leaves capons, peas, fine imported wine,
and pistachio nuts.
PANTALONE
Nothing's too good for the Captain.
LELIO
That's how I feel about Isabella. She...
PANTALONE
He might not like the imported wine. Imported means
foreign. He's about to go to war for his country!
I'm sure he'd prefer
to drink a nice,
pure glass of
water from a Commedian well! It's so much more
patriotic!
LELIO
That leaves capons, peas and pistachio nuts.
PANTALONE
That's still a fine meal, and nothing's too good for the
Captain. Wait a minute! Did you say "peas"? I can't
serve peas to a soldier! It sounds too much like "peace!"
He'd think I was insulting him.
LELIO
That leaves capons and pistachio nuts.
PANTALONE
Well, nothing's too... hmmm. Aren't capons neutered
fowl? I can't have anything neutered for the Captain!
No, absolutely not. It's not manly.
LELIO
That leaves nuts.
PANTALONE
I can't ask the Captain to eat just nuts!
LELIO
So take away the nuts.
PANTALONE
Which leaves....
LELIO
Nothing!
PANTALONE
Well, nothing's too good for the Captain!
LELIO
Let me tell you about Isabella!!!
Enter the Truff and Arlo.
TRUFF
Hey, boss, there's some old man here to
see your father.
Enter the CAPTAIN!
CAPTAIN
Signor Pantalone!
PANTALONE
Captain Cocodrillo!
The two old men embrace. The Captain takes off his coat and hands it to Arlo.
CAPTAIN
Here, take my coat! Take good care of it, or I'll
see you are beaten severely!
Arlo and Truff exit with the coat.
PANTALONE
I thought you weren't coming until tomorrow!
CAPTAIN
A good soldier always arrives when least
expected!
PANTALONE
Why?
CAPTAIN
To gain the advantage!
The Captain suddenly draws his sword and points it at Lelio.
CAPTAIN
Is this your son?
PANTALONE
Yes.
CAPTAIN
If he were an enemy, I'd have killed him on
on the spot. Why doesn't he wear a sword?
The Captain slides his sword back in its scabbard.
PANTALONE
The only thing he cares about is some girl.
CAPTAIN
Take my advice, young man. The only way to gain a
woman's heart is by winning honor on the battlefield!
LELIO
I've already won her heart.
CAPTAIN
You think so, but you don't know anything!
You need to go to war to learn about life!
Your
must join my campaign. I'm going to
lead an army against Zanniland and overthrow
King Brighella!
LELIO
Why should you attack Zanniland?
CAPTAIN
Because they hate us for our goodness!
They would like nothing better than to sneak up
on us while we're sleeping and chop us all into
little pieces. They're savage monsters, evil,
bloody-minded! The only way to ensure our
safety is to
kill them all! You'll see I'm right when
you meet them on the battlefield.
LELIO
I'm not going to any battlefield!
CAPTAIN
Of course you are! I'm conscripting you into the
Commedian army! As Captain, I can conscript anyone
I choose!
LELIO
Father!
PANTALONE
He's right, son. It will do you good. How many
men do you have, Captain?
CAPTAIN
Counting your son, one. It will take a month or so to
conscript the rest of the army. In the meantime, you can
put me up.
PANTALONE
What?
CAPTAIN
Certainly. You're wealthy. It's your patriotic duty.
PANTALONE
But I'm giving you my son. Isn't that enough?
CAPTAIN
I lost my own son on the battlefield. But I don't regret it.
No
sacrifice is ever enough! Or do you want Zanniland
to win? Have you become a traitor in your old age?
The Captain draws his sword. Truff and Arlo enter. The Captain turns on them!
CAPTAIN
What! Did you think you could ambush me?
LELIO
You're insane!
Lelio rushes the Captain and easily disarms him. The Captain, who is in reality an abject coward, huddles in a corner of the room.
CAPTAIN
Don't hurt me! I'm your father's friend! Don't let him
hurt me, Pantalone!
Lelio tosses the sword to the Captain.
LELIO
Take your sword. But don't expect me to join
your war!
The Captain takes his sword and tries to re-capture his dignity.
CAPTAIN
I wouldn't take you if you begged! You realize I could
have killed you with my bare hands, but I didn't want to
hurt the son of my friend, Pantalone! Where's my coat?
Someone stole my coat! Some traitor has stolen my
coat!
LELIO
You gave it to the servants!
TRUFF
Yeah, we put it in the shed, behind the house.
ARLO
No we didn't...
Truff pokes Arlo in the ribs.
LELIO
Where we keep our swords!
ARLO
We haven't got any...
Truff pokes Arlo again.
TRUFF
Sure! That's where his coat is! In the shed with
the swords! Do you want us to get it?
CAPTAIN
Ha! You think I'm fool enough to let the enemy
get its hands on its swords? I'll retrieve my own coat.
The Captain exits. Lelio, Truff and Arlo explode into laughter.
PANTALONE
What's so funny?
It takes a few moments for Lelio, Truff and Arlo to stop laughing.
LELIO
The shed is where they hid the pig droppings.
When the Captain opens the door...
Enter Isabella.
ISABELLA
Lelio!
LELIO
Isabella, my love!
They run into each other's arms!
ARLO
I thought you were in love with Smeraldina.
As Arlo says her name, Smeraldina enters.
SMERALDINA
He's in love with my mistress, Isabella!
As soon as they see Smeraldina, Arlo and Truff try to strangle each other.
ISABELLA
Where's my father? They told me at the inn that he
was here.
LELIO
Your father?
ISABELLA
Yes, my father, Captain Cocodrillo!
Truff and Arlo stop fighting. The Captain enters, covered in pig droppings! Arlo slips out.
ISABELLA
Father! Meet the man I am going to marry!
CAPTAIN
Never! Not in a million years! Not if he were the last man
on Earth!
The Captain takes Isabella by the hand and pulls her out of the house. She begins weeping. As they are about to exit, Arlo steps in with the Captain's coat.
ARLO
Your coat.
The Captain grabs the coat and exits with Isabella, who is sobbing.
SMERALDINA
(furious)
What have you idiots done???
Blackout!
SCENE THREE:
The throne room in the royal castle in the Kingdom of Zanniland. BRIGHELLA the King sits upon a very large throne, which is on a raised platform . Standing to his left and right are his chief stooges, FICHETTO and SCAPINO. Brighella, Fichetto and Scapino all wear swords. They don't use them in this scene, but they will be necessary in Act III.
BRIGHELLA
Send in Agent X!
Fichetto and Scapino shout into the wings:
FICHETTO
Send in Agent X!
SCAPINO
Send in Agent X!
AGENT X sneaks in, unseen by Fichetto and Scapino. He wears a cape with a hood, which hides most of his face. Agent X taps Fichetto on the shoulder, startling him.
FICHETTO
Who are you?
AGENT X
They call me Agent X!
FICHETTO
No kidding! We were just calling you, Agent X!
BRIGHELLA
Report on your infiltration of the forces of Commedia!
AGENT X
Your Majesty, Captain Cocodrillo is raising an army to attack
us. We must attack Commedia first. They are weakest on
their Northern border!
BRIGHELLA
Go and draw up plans to attack on the Northern border!
AGENT X
Yes, your Majesty!
Agent X bows low and exits.
BRIGHELLA
Send in Agent Y!
FICHETTO
Send in Agent Y!
SCAPINO
Send in Agent Y!
AGENT Y sneaks in, unseen by Fichetto and Scapino. He wears a cape with a hood, which hides most of his face. In fact, Agent Y could be played by the same actor who played Agent X. Agent Y taps Scapino on the shoulder, startling him.
SCAPINO
Who are you?
AGENT Y
They call me Agent Y!
SCAPINO
Why?
AGENT Y
I don't know why. That's just what they call me.
BRIGHELLA
Did you spy on Agent X, as you were instructed?
AGENT Y
Your Majesty, Agent X is in the pay of Captain Cocodrillo!
Captain Cocodrillo wants us to attack on the Northern border,
where he will have his troops waiting for us. We must surprise
him and attack on the Eastern border!
BRIGHELLA
Go and draw up plans to attack on the Eastern border! But
first, go assassinate that traitor, Agent X!
AGENT Y
Yes, your Majesty!
Agent Y bows low and exits.
BRIGHELLA
Send in Agent Z!
FICHETTO
Send in Agent Z!
SCAPINO
Send in Agent Z!
AGENT Z sneaks in, unseen by Fichetto, Scapino and Brighella. He wears a cape with a hood, which hides most of his face. In fact, Agent Z could be played by the same actor who played Agent X and Agent Y. Agent Z stands near Brighella and clears his throat, startling him.
BRIGHELLA
Have you seen Agent Z?
!
AGENT Z
I am Agent Z!
SCAPINO
But have you seen him?
BRIGHELLA
Did you spy on Agent Y, as you were instructed?
AGENT Z
Your Majesty, Agents X and Y are both in the pay of
Captain Cocodrillo! They will tell you to attack on the Northern
border and on the Eastern border, but if you want to
win, you must attack on the Southern border!
BRIGHELLA
Go and draw up plans to attack on the Southern border! But
first, go assassinate Agent Y! But wait until he first assassinates
Agent X!
AGENT Z
Yes, your Majesty!
Agent Z bows low and almost exits, but then he comes back to speak to Brighella.
AGENT Z
My conscience forces me to confess! I too am in the pay
of Captain Cocodrillo! He doesn't really care where we
attack! He just wants to know for certain where the
attack will be, so he can arrange to be somewhere else!
BRIGHELLA
Good! Go and assassinate yourself! But first go assassinate
Agent Y, but only after he's assassinated Agent X!
AGENT Z
Yes, your Majesty!
Agent Z bows low and exits.
Enter Lelio, Truff and Arlo, with their hands raised in surrender. Behind them, holding a long spear, and disguised in the cloak of a Zanniland agent, is Smeraldina. She also wears a false beard and mustache, and she disguises her voice.
SMERALDINA
Your Majesty, I found these men lurking by the castle.
I suspect they are spies!
BRIGHELLA
Good. We were running low on spies!
SMERALDINA
I don't mean our spies! I think these spies are in the pay
of Captain Cocodrillo!
SCAPINO
Sounds like our spies to me!
LELIO
Your Majesty, it's true that we are citizens of
Commedia, but we came to Zanniland to offer
services to you.
BRIGHELLA
Why would you betray your own country?
TRUFF
What other country could we betray?
LELIO
Captain Cocodrillo has refused to let me wed the
woman I love. He is my mortal enemy!
TRUFF
And any enemy of the boss is an enemy of ours!
ARLO
And any enemy of an enemy of my boss's enemy is an
an enemy of an enemy of ours!
BRIGHELLA
What does that mean?
ARLO
I have no idea.
BRIGHELLA
What would you do to prove your loyalty to me?
LELIO, TRUFF
& ARLO
(together)
Anything!
BRIGHELLA
Here in Zanniland, we have a time honored way to
test loyalty. To prove you'll do anything for me,
each of you must try to kill the other two!
Whichever of you survives will be my trusted agent!
ARLO
I don't like killing. Couldn't I clean out your pig
droppings instead?
BRIGHELLA
Bring them the swords!
FICHETTO
The swords!
SCAPINO
The swords!
Fichetto and Scapino exit and return with three swords. (They keep their own swords.) They give one sword to Lelio, one to Arlo and one to Truff.
BRIGHELLA
Let the best traitor to his country win!
Lelio, Truff and Arlo run at each other, waving their swords and manage to wound Fichetto and Scapino and pretend to wound Smeraldina. Fichetto and Scapino fall where they stand (but they aren't dead - they'll be back in Act II). Smeraldina crawls to the top of the platform before (apparently) collapsing next to Brighella's throne.
LELIO
I think you are now our prisoner, King
Brighella!
BRIGHELLA
I think not!
Brighella throws a switch on the arm of his throne, and a huge muzzle of a cannon comes out from beneath the throne, aimed at Lelio, Truff and Arlo! The muzzle stretches out obscenely between Brighella's legs.
BRIGHELLA
I keep a cannon concealed under my throne for
just such emergencies. I think you are now my
prisoners!
SMERALDINA
I think not!
Before Brighella realizes what is happening, she has the point of her spear at his chest!
SMERALDINA
Step away from that throne, now!
Brighella does what he is told. Smeraldina pushes back the cowl and takes off the fake beard and mustache.
LELIO
Your plan worked!
SMERALDINA
Of course it did! I told you my plans always work.
Now
we'll take him back to Commedia, and Captain
Cocodrillo will be so impressed and grateful, he'll gladly
give you the hand of Isabella.
TRUFF
How do we get him back to Commedia?
SMERALDINA
It shouldn't be hard once we gag him, put him in this
robe and this fake beard and mustache.
BRIGHELLA
It's lucky for you I
just had all my agents kill each other!
SMERALDINA
Gag him quickly, and let's get out of here!
Blackout!
SCENE FOUR:
The parlor of Pantalone's house. Pantalone paces.
PANTALONE
Why do these things always happen to me? My friend
the Captain abuses my hospitality by expecting me to
feed and house him while he raises an army. And
instead of helping me in my hour of need, my son
runs off to who knows where! The only good thing
is that he took those two idiot servants with him!
Enter Truff and Arlo!
TRUFF
We're back!
Enter Lelio and Smeraldina with Brighella, who is bound and gagged.
LELIO
Father, do you know where the Captain is?
PANTALONE
Probably in the kitchen, eating my food and drinking
my wine.
LELIO
Go get him, and tell him your son has won his war for
him! King Brighella is my prisoner!
PANTALONE
That means he doesn't need to stay here any more!
I'll tell him at once!
Pantalone hurries off. As he leaves, Isabella enters and runs into Lelio's arms.
ISABELLA
My darling. I flew to you as soon as I heard your
voice.
LELIO
Of course you flew. That's how angels travel.
We've captured Brighella. Now your father must
approve of our marriage!
Enter Pantalone and Captain Cocodrillo.
CAPTAIN
Is it true? Is King Brighella your prisoner?
LELIO
No, he's your prisoner! I turn him over to
you!
CAPTAIN
If this really is King Brighella, that means the
war is over! Let me interrogate him in
private.
The Captain takes Brighella (still bound and gagged) into another room.
ISABELLA
I told you we were fated to be wed!
LELIO
And I told you that was true beyond all doubt.
PANTALONE
There's still the matter of the dowry.
LELIO
Father, would you prefer that I let Brighella go, so
the Captain can live with you while he raises an
army?
PANTALONE
No! No! I'm sure we can work something out.
LELIO
Then it's a happy ending for everyone!
TRUFF
And I get to marry Smeraldina!
ARLO
You mean I get to marry Smeraldina!
TRUFF
That's what I said, I get to marry Smeraldina.
Truff and Arlo try to kill each other. Smeraldina pulls them apart.
SMERALDINA
What makes you think I want to marry either one of
you?
ARLO
Lelio said it was a happy ending for everyone.
TRUFF
Don't you want to get married?
SMERALDINA
Maybe some day, when I feel ready to settle down, but
not now! Of course, that doesn't mean I wouldn't like
to be courted.
Truff and Arlo resume trying to kill each other. Smeraldina pulls them apart.
SMERALDINA
By both of you!
Enter the Captain.
CAPTAIN
I have an announcement to make. Daughter, you
are going to be wed! And even better than that,
you are going to be a Queen! And I am to be
Lord Chancellor of Zanniland! Come, kiss your
husband, King Brighella.
Enter Brighella, no longer bound or gagged. He goes to greet Isabella, but she faints into Lelio's arms. Everyone is horrified, except for the Captain and Brighella.
Blackout!
THE END OF ACT I
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© 2004 by Richard Nathan. All rights reserved
The author grants all internet uses to print these scripts for their own, personal, non-commercial use. No other use may be made without the author's permission. Without limiting the foregoing, the plays may not be staged without the author's express permission.
Send e-mail to the author at Richard-Nathan@att.net.