BIBLICAL VALUES... PERIOD!

                                                                                        By Richard Nathan

George W. Bush speaks to the nation.

                                                            BUSH
                                    My fellow Americans, this is a time of crisis!  Social
                                    security is almost bankrupt.  Trial lawyers are forcing our
                                    insurance companies to quintiple our costs of doing
                                    health care. Unlimited growth of trees and animals
                                    are keeping us from harvesting our precious natural
                                    resources.  And some scientists tell us that some day 
                                    the sun will explode.  Clearly something urgent must be
                                    done.  And I am glad to tell you I have found an answer
                                    to all our problems.  I am asking for a Constitutional
                                    Amendment to requiring all women who are on their
                                    periods to be temporarily relocated to settlement
                                    camps until they are clean again.  Folks, everyone knows
                                    that I was elected because of my firm stand on moral
                                    values, the values I learned from the Bible.  And the Bible
                                    says women who are having their periods are unclean
                                    and must be set apart.  It even says that if a woman having
                                    a period sits on a chair, and if you later sit on that same
                                    chair, then you're unclean!  That is in Leviticus Chapter 15,
                                    Verse 22.  It doesn't even say you have to know about it! 
                                    Think about it!  If my wife, Laura, were to be having her
                                    period - she claims she's past all that, but I say you never
                                    know, anyway, say she or some other gal having her
                                    period sat in a chair and didn't tell me, later I might sit down
                                    on that chair, not knowing that Laura had sat in it, and I'd be
                                    unclean.  The people of the United States of America do not
                                    deserve to have an unclean President!!!  And it's not just our
                                    Bible that warns us about women on their periods!  Even the
                                    Koran, which is the Muslim version of our Bible, says that
                                    menistrutation is harmful and unclean.  If both the Bible and
                                    the Koran say that women having their periods are unclean,
                                    who's going to deny they should be put away?.  Only atheists! 
                                    Atheists and maybe a few women on their periods!  But are
                                    we going to turn over our moral values over to atheists and
                                    women having their periods?  I firmly believe that none of our 
                                    problems will be solved until we stop displeasing God!  That's
                                    why I call upon Congress and the American People and also 
                                    even the Democrats to join me in amending the Constitution
                                    to require that all women having their periods be
                                    relocated to settlement camps.  Next week, I will address the
                                    problem of how too much government regulations is
                                    crippling our business growth.  Thank you and God
                                    bless the United States of America.

THE END

© 2005 by Richard Nathan.  All rights reserved

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