THRILLS AND HIGH ADVENTURE!
the Strong and Floop the Clever
in the Age of Wizardry!"
by Richard Nathan
Before the lights come up, a voice introduces the story:
Come sit by the feet of the old bard, as he
tells tales of a time when giants roamed the world,
when dragons breathed white hot fire and
wizards cast spells of arcane magic, stories of
Zargotz the Strong and Floop the Clever in the
Age of Wizardry!
A light comes up come up on a BARD who will narrate the story.
I tell a tale of a mighty warrior, a giant of
a man, fierce and as terrible as a lion,
strong as an elephant, terrible in his
wrath as the plague - a man of courage,
with resolve as unyielding as his sword.
I tell a tale of Zargotz the Strong and the
Lost Crown of Coremangor!
A light comes up on the other side of the stage, where stand ZARGOTZ the Strong and his companion FLOOP the clever. Zargotz look appropriately heroic. Floop looks ticked off. Floop clears his throat. As an afterthought, the Bard remembers to mention our other hero.
This tale also features Zargotz's loyal
companion, Foop the Clever.
Floop! Not Foop!
Sorry. Floop the Clever.
The Bard exits. A crafty MERCHANT enters and bargains with Zargotz and Floop.
They tell me you seek adventure and
By the great god Farquog, they speak
true. Danger and adventure is what we
Shut up, Zargotz. They who say we seek
adventure and danger lie through their teeth.
What we seek is money! We'll go on
any adventure if the price is right.
I want you to find the Lost Crown of
A crown! Where can we find it?
I don't know. It's lost. Don't you know what
What can you tell us about this crown?
I want it for sentimental reasons. It's a family
heirloom. It's made of gold, but very poor
quality gold. There are five silver stars on
rim, but they barely deserves to be called
silver. In each star is a red ruby, the worst
rubies you could imagine. All told, I doubt
you could sell the crown for a hundred
We'll find it for you for five hundred
Done! But only because of the sentimental
value. Here are fifty thasolians as a down
payment. I'll give you the rest when you bring
me the crown.
The merchant hands Floop a small bag of coins. Floop takes the bag and the merchant exits.
By the great god Farquog, I like this
quest. Shall I go to the docks and
buy a ship, so that we may sail to
distant lands to find this crown?
No, go to the stables and rent a
couple of cheap horses, so we can
ride back to that village we were in
yesterday. I saw that crown in a
hock shop there.
That does not sound like a mighty
No, it sounds like we finally got a
break! Come on!
Floop and Zargotz exit. Enter the Bard on the other side of the stage. A light comes up on the Bard.
And so, Zargotz and Floop set forth on
their quest. For an entire half a day they
rode until they came to the village they
sought. Long and hard was the struggle
of Floop as he bargained desperately
with the proprietor of the hock shop to
lower the price of the crown. Sharp
was the blade that Zargotz flashed
before the face of the proprietor, and
most reasonable was the price the
proprietor agreed to charge. Great was
the celebration of Zargotz and Floop
in the tavern that night, and horrible were
their hangovers the next day as they rode
back to deliver the crown to the merchant.
But when they arrived at his door, they found
a curious scroll. Written upon the scroll in
letters of ebony were the words, "Out To
Lunch. Back In An Hour."
The Bard exits. Enter Floop and Zargotz on the opposite side of the stage. Zargotz holds the Crown of Coremangor!
We have done well, Floop! By the great
god Farquog, truly this is a crown fit for
Yeah, yeah. That merchant better get back
quick. I want our money.
Floop, do you think I might be a king some
Sure, Zargotz, the same day I beat you at arm
I would make a fearsome king! How do I look
with this crown?
Zargotz puts on the crown. He moans like a wounded elephant and goes into a trance, as the magical crown takes possession of him!
It is obvious to Floop that something is terribly wrong with Zargotz!
Holy rat puke!!!
Zargotz speaks in a voice very different from his own!
Mortal fool! You have given me a body
from which I may cast my spells to bring
your entire world under my thrall.
Who the phlegm are you?
I am Harbane, the Demon-King. In ages
past, I ruled the world, until an army of
mighty wizards sought to depose me.
Their forces were greater than my own, so
hid my soul in this crown, awaiting the day
when someone would put it on and enable
my return! This is a strong body - it will
serve me well!
What makes you think an army of
wizards won't defeat you again?
I can use this body to send my will
over the world! I sense no wizard is
alive today with half my power!
Are you sure you looked everywhere?
Across the seas, and everything?
Yes! I can send my will through the howling
snows of the far North at the same time I
send it into the sultry heat of the rainforests!
And you compared yourself with every
wizard? We've got some very powerful
wizards these days! Maybe they're
shielding their powers from you!
Never! I can search into every corner
of their minds! I can... I can... Oh, my head!
I can... I think I overdid.... This mind! The
mind of this body... No! It's the mind of an
idiot! I overdid.... I went too far.... I
And Harbane, the Demon-King burns out his soul by trying to use too much mental power in the tiny brain of Zargotz the Strong. Zargotz faints. Floop takes the crown from off of Zargotz's head and cries out in pain.
Owww! That thing's hot!
Floop drops the crown and sucks his fingers! Zargotz regains consciousness.
Floop! Where am I? What happened?
A Demon-King tried to possess you, but he
couldn't cope your incredibly insufficient
Ha! By the great god Farquog, he won't
try to possess me again!
Or anyone else, I'll bet. That crown felt
like it was burning up!
Floop gingerly picks up the crown. It's still hot, but not burning hot. Enter the Merchant!
You found it! You found the Crown of
Coremangor! Give it to me!
Not so fast! First give us the four hundred
fifty thasolians you still owe us.
Very well. Here you are!
The Merchant hands Floop a very large purse of coins. Floop hands the Merchant the Crown. The Merchant prepares to put it on.
Much good will those coins do you when
Harbane the Demon-King returns to rule
The Merchant puts on the crown. Nothing happens. The Merchant takes off the crown, exams it, and puts it on again. Still, nothing happens.
What have you done??? The spell is
The spell wasn't part of our bargain!
The Merchant advances menacingly on Floop.
My friend Zargotz the Strong doesn't
like it when people try to change the
I do not like it when people change the
Oh, very well!
The Merchant exits. The Bard enters on the other side of the stage.
Thus concludes the stirring adventure of
Zargotz the Strong and the Lost Crown
Crown of Coremangor!
Floop clears his throat.
Also featuring Floop the Clever.
here to go to more
THEATER OF THRILLS AND HIGH ADVENTURE!
© 2005 by Richard Nathan. All rights reserved
The author grants all internet uses to print these scripts for their own, personal, non-commercial use. No other use may be made without the author's permission. Without limiting the foregoing, the plays may not be staged without the author's express permission.
Send e-mail to the author at .